The Very Long Version of my Artist Statement: Part 2

press ‘rewind’ or ‘pause’ or perhaps most of all, ‘eject’? That’s how I felt. I couldn’t believe what had happened to me and I was in so much pain and so much mental anguish and fear about what might still happen to me…and I had to focus on potty-training and picking out doorknobs we could afford. Life felt surreal. I was meeting and making new friends and felt like I was watching it all happen from outside myself. I vacillated between fear, frustration, and rage, and my immune system was shot.

Every day felt like a long, torturous slog full of hard-to-achieve demands lived in a barely livable house with tiny, exceedingly needy people. It was not fun. But ultimately, I was glad to be alive; I was glad to be my kids’ mom. Amidst the suckest that life was at this point, the undeniable beauty of the setting we lived in would daily carve its way into my hurting self. Beauty helped. ☼

My younger kiddo in the hellscape that was our home during remodeling and recovering.